756 quotes found
“The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.”
“The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that traders were quite busy already.”
“Ever notice that phrenologists have funny-shaped heads?”
“Every Friday is black where I work.”
“Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.”
“Black graffiti on a black helicopter.”
“Secret 3963. Its only a sucking chest wound if youre not the shooter.”
“The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you're improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we're improvising and...”
“A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without qu...”
“The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then _add something of your own._ If I start a scene with 'I can't believe it's so hot in here,'...”
“Bad improvisers block action, often with a high degree of skill. Good improvisers develop action."(p.115)”
“Speak English at this table or I will fire you so fast you'll wind up standing at the airport wondering how you got from here to there without any goddamn pants on.”
“SHUT UP," Carot Top say, the cocane now taking effect. "This isnt Poetry 101. People want to laugh. Your suposed to be a 'King' of Prop Comedy. But youve been acting more like a jester of prop comedy.”
“HARV, can you help at all here? I asked, spinning downward.I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it, HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.”
“HARV appeared in front of me, arms crossed, head tilted. You really should read your e-mails from Randy more carefully, he lectured.I skim them, I protested.Well, if you skimmed them more carefully...”
“Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didnt come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a giant mutant rat who had ...”
“My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isnt that bad (I have a strong heart), its the sudden stops that are painful. Believe...”
“Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly wed have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage.”
“So, what youre basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.”
“Twoa said, obviously still in my brain. "It was my pheromones," she said defensively. I looked up at her; she was sniffing herself. She looked down at me. "Okay, maybe it wasnt ALL the pheromones,"...”
