756 quotes found
“A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.”
“Next door but one is Quinlan Broddle, a Viceroy with a fear of gardens. So much so that he sold his garden to Virgin Atlantic and his erstwhile front lawn is now a runway where miniature helicopter...”
“On the other side of St Johns house is a fake egg timer who cant maintain an erection. He shares the property with a glossy beef burger called Tom, who has been painted by a seven year old magistra...”
“Your toasters a puff.”
“...his knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great for...”
“St John had been sitting in the back garden twizzling a pencil, on the end of which a russet deposit was impaled, which had been left on the lawn by Marmaduke, next doors ginger cat. His father had...”
“The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Whos Got the Stupidest Name (WGSN) competition. First prize had already gone to Brian Burdock, a French Alger...”
“I really dont get this whole oranges thing. Its like, does he want to eat them or go out with them?”
“Nobody touches my ding dongs!”
“What have you got in there you little bastard?”
“There's something about courting the darkness that makes some people see the truth in raw, twisted ways, as though they were shining a black light on life to illuminate the absurdity of it all. Com...”
“The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat.”
“The Prince stood beside the timpanist to count his rests for him and see that he came in in the right place. I suppressed all the trumpet passages which were clearly beyond the players' grasp. The ...”
“Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.”
“If we get a 3D printer at the office, the first thing Im printing with it is a new 3D printer just for me!”
“Philadelphia is just the tip of the Pittsburgh.”
“Conduct Covert UAV Operations Naked”
“The real mystery isn't what's under the redaction mark, but what's above it.”
“I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.”
“Paradigm shift: does that come before swing shift or after?”
