57 quotes found
“One family, two impressively gay brothers.”
“Do your thing and don't care if they like it.”
“5) The Eyes Are the Windows to Where the Soul Is Supposed to Be”
“So, to sum up my room-clearing generalizations, men are in comedy to break rules.”
“(Don Fey had a large rubber stamp that said "bullshit," which was and is awesome.)”
“You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.”
“In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.”
“Don't hire anyone you wouldn't want to run into in the hallway at three in the morning.”
“By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your fucking life.”
“Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.”
“Some people say, Never let them see you cry. I say, if youre so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torp...”
“Whitney Houstons cover of I Will Always Love You was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.”
“Most photographers have some kind of verbal patter going on when they shoot: "Great. Turn to me. Big smile. Less shark eyes. Have fun with it. Not like that." Some photographers are compulsively ef...”
“Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that women aren't funny. Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups.”
“You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers!”
“My dad looks like Clint Eastwood. His half-Scottish, half-German face in repose is handsome but terrifying. I searched the audience for him during the sixth-grade chorus concert and, seeing his ste...”
“My unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: Is this person in betwe...”
“In 1995, each cast at The Second City was made up of four men and two women. When it was suggested that they switch one of the companies to three men and three women, the producers and directors ha...”
“[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”
“Dont waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when youre the boss. Or they wont. Who cares? Do your thing, and dont care...”
“Ever since I became an executive producer of 30 Rock, people have asked me, 'Is it hard for you, being the boss?' And, 'Is it uncomfortable for you to be the person in charge?' You know, in that sa...”
“What is he rudest question you can ask a woman? 'How old are you?' 'What do you weigh?' No, the worst question is 'How do you juggle it all?' people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in th...”
“Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? Im not one of those fancy Harvard hear...”
“My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. You dont know their situation, my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didnt even...”
