756 quotes found
“My daughter asked if the boogie man was scary. I said, "Not as scary as the boogie woman.”
“You dont have to want to be in arelationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.”
“Duct tape can't fix stupid," Bas growled. "Maybe not," Red replied, "but it can hold it down and muffled the screams.”
“Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because its too crowded.”
“Tears streamed down my face. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achiev...”
“He had a body that begged to be paintedwith chocolate.”
“Aye lass, nodded Gizurr, you are quite the beauty for sure. Id certainly offer to buy you a beer or two if I ever met you in a pub and thats a fact.Ragni tutted and elbowed Gizurr in the ribs, Have...”
“Mikes brain was hardwired directly into his genitals and most higher functions appeared to have switched themselves off. In other words, he was just like most men.”
“lol christine lyf”
“Comedy, of course, lives for serious moments.”
“She deliberated too much afore making decisions; he acted on instinct. He liked Oreos, she preferred pasta worms.”
“I asked you a question. What are you doing here?"Resting his elbows on the side of the tub, he smiled lazily. She hated it when he smiled lazily. "Waiting for the bubbles to evaporate," he said.”
“I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”
“What was it with evildoers trying to hire my boyfriend as a mercenary?”
“I try to never miss the Zumba class since I believe comedy is a great way to start your week....It was great fun, although I had to hold myself back from turning it into a giant mosh pit slam dance...”
“Comedy too can sometimes discern what is right.”
“Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.”
“Was that tragedy? Or was that comedy? Was there really any difference?”
“You two have just reached the level of annoyingly cute.”
“Percy, you are dismissed from my service.""Me? Why, my lord?""Why? Because, Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride ...”
