15 quotes found
“I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.”
“Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories.”
“Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell.”
“-Would you wish us to invest it for you?-No, I would like you to set up a trust for dumb animals.-What kind of dumb animals do you have in mind, Miss Donahue?-Oh, stray dogs. Rats. Birds.-We could ...”
“Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?”
“Didn't Chains tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?""The what?""The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.""What...”
“Breslin gives me his wise-teacher smile, which is kind and crinkly and would make me feel warm all over if I was dumber than a bag of hair.”
“If by foe you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose Id fall into the friend category, I replied cynically. Although in your case, we may have to find a secret option number three.”
“Our town was known for two things--no, three: salted fish, expertly dyed fabrics, and corruption.”
“It's nice to be able to do things for other people, isn't it?That's why it's fun to talk in the third person sometimes.”
“They tugged plans and ambitions out their asses and held tight to the first that didn't smell so strongly of shit.”
“Children throw tantrums because they've imagined their 'father in heaven' does so. And because, their inherited religious book has, in written, shown them so.”
“If I were married, I would be unmarried.”
“If by ‘foe’ you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose I’d fall into the ‘friend’ category,” I replied cynically. “Although in your case, we may have to find a secret option number three.”
