“First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.”

“Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.”

“I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.”

“Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.”

“If you do not grasp, intellectually or spiritually, the 'One' in All, you would've lived and died as your former self - ape, et all.”

“Do it or not, but do.”

“I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.”

“Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories.”

“-Would you wish us to invest it for you?-No, I would like you to set up a trust for dumb animals.-What kind of dumb animals do you have in mind, Miss Donahue?-Oh, stray dogs. Rats. Birds.-We could ...”

“Dear God, Why don't you ever get inspired by those carmakers who recall defective models? Please be humble, accept that you made and mistake and recall all idiots, criminals, haters, terrorists and...”

“Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it.”

“Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up.”

“Humour sustains us during failure; more so after success, when we're prone to fail that much more, daring abyss, pumped up with success.”

“I wish you all the best in life. Hell, I will even write your obituary for free.”

“I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.”