“First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.”

“Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.”

“I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.”

“Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.”

“If you do not grasp, intellectually or spiritually, the 'One' in All, you would've lived and died as your former self - ape, et all.”

“Do it or not, but do.”

“I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.”

“Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories.”

“Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.”

“Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didnt go to Troy for the baklava.”

“i realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl...because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol”

“You dont need a stage to prove that youre a bad speaker.”

“Don't worry if you've been labeled as weird. Who wants to be classed as normal in an insane world?”

“Guess it's high time we add the 8th vow in marriage promising that we shall spend time with our husband or wife more than with social networking sites!”