32 quotes found
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.”
“Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didnt go to Troy for the baklava.”
“i realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl...because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol”
“Life gave me lemons, then I met you and you had Vodka. Now my life is a party.”
“Life is funny, when you are young you want to be older and those that are older wish to be younger.”
“When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.”
“Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.”
“Don't, but if at all, then, lie to the whole damn world - never to your own damn, silly stupid self.”
“You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you.”
“There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.”
“God of blind believers is most likely to be cock-eyed.”
“I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.”
“Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.”
“Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.”
“Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker.”
“Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year ...”
“Sip tea and coffee with those who say you can, politely stuff with cookies any who say you cannot. Because the stuff they are feeding you, be it the latter,looks strangely a bit like the little cho...”
“Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others”
“Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.”
“That Reagan shaped mechanical gadget in the metal box that made you jump like a little sissy boy, Joe, that is the heart and soul of what the flagnJebus crowd is scared of so bad they cant even thi...”
