“If we get a 3D printer at the office, the first thing Im printing with it is a new 3D printer just for me!”

“Conduct Covert UAV Operations Naked”

“The real mystery isn't what's under the redaction mark, but what's above it.”

“I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.”

“Paradigm shift: does that come before swing shift or after?”

“The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

“Humour sustains us during failure; more so after success, when we're prone to fail that much more, daring abyss, pumped up with success.”

“I wish you all the best in life. Hell, I will even write your obituary for free.”

“I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”