118 quotes found
“Trust is important to any relationship and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked.”
“There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.”
“It ate a party till someone ends up naked.”
“Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.”
“Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.”
“I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.”
“It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.”
“Sometimes stupid is crime enough.”
“Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.”
“There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.”
“Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.”
“A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.”
“Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.”
“Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.”
“Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.”
“Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air.”
“I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet”
“If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.”
“It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.”
“In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.”
