23 quotes found
“If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed.”
“Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.”
“There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.”
“Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass.”
“Beauty is only skin deep, but who gives a shit what's under their skin anyway?”
“Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.”
“Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.”
“Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.”
“Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.”
“A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.”
“Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.”
“Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.”
“Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air.”
“Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.”
“Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.”
“You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.”
“Generally, men are superior in the areas of heavy lifting, where there's a past only by pachyderms and building cranes. Beyond that, I believe any right-thinking thinking will see that women have t...”
“The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.”
“Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.”
“Just remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air.”
“Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life.”
