14 quotes found
“Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.”
“Sometimes stupid is crime enough.”
“I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.”
“If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?”
“Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.”
“Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.”
“Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.”
“A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.”
“If at 1st you don't succeed, stretch out on your La-Z-Boy with a six-pack and a porn flick. Y' still won't succeed, but you sure as hell won't give a shift.”
“Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.”
“It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.”
“Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.”
“There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.”
“Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.”
