52 quotes found
“One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.”
“I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.”
“I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.”
“I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it costs.”
“I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.”
“The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.”
“I've been here so long . . . when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick yet.”
“A closed mouth gathers no foot.”
“Some people speak from experience while others from experience don't speak.”
“The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut.”
“Another fine mess you've got us in Stanley.”
“He who laughs last thinks slowest.”
“Let's face it some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.”
“If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted I beg his pardon.”
“Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.”
“I thank you for not snoring.”
“It is almost impossible to find those who admire us entirely lacking in taste.”
“Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves.”
“A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't.”
“Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.”
