2,662 quotes found
“A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight.”
“I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.”
“When you're writing what you love, it's the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course, you write naked.”
“A good approach is to allow one dream per novel. Then, in the final revision, go back and get rid of that, too.”
“Who would have ever thought going to a library would be so scary?”
“So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.”
“The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.”
“It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.)”
“Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of "I think I'm a loser," try "I definitely am a loser." Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if...”
“We were surrounded by thirty-foot-tall giants who were about to kill us. Then the sky opened up, and the gods descended.""Grandad," the kids said, "you are full of schist." "I'm not kidding!" he pr...”
“Nice guys finish last but that's what makes them good in bed.”
“My only relationship policy is, dont bring your dirty laundry to work, no sex on company furniture and dont let it affect your work.”
“It gets worse. Josh tell her that he loves her. She says it back. He touches her. She touches him back. And then they're losing their virginity on the floor of her bedroom beside her pet rabbit, Is...”
“A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers.”
“Seriously, it's like watching mild porn, watching you two eye fuck each other every two seconds.”
“Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind.”
“Well, I've seen porn!" Evan defends and Dan just looks at him. "Okay, captain Pornie, walk me through it," Dan challenges. "I'll be the pizza guy, and Jeff can be the plumber. You can be... hey, wh...”
“When I was done raking and bagging, I banged on the door and demanded entry /...let me in by the hair on your chinny, chin-chin/ (a fairytale moment there) Dick opened it and in his posthest voice,...”
“Has something happened to upset you today?Yeah, I had an argument with a vacuum cleaner hose, it wanted me to it a blowjob, but I refused so it took offence. It claimed I blew everyone else's attac...”
“Ben hid a wince behind his hand, trying very hard not to think of seventy-year-old Ellie Verstgard rolling around with Mr. Wenner. Despite his best resistance, the image scrolled across his brain a...”
