63 quotes found
“Artists are the serfs of a leisure society.”
“Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.”
“I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.”
“Envy is for people who dont have the self-esteem to be jealous.”
“Envy is for people who don’t have the self-esteem to be jealous.”
“Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Dont bother introducing yourself.”
“Pure joy is rare. Thats why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.”
“We live in one of the few epochs of humanity where life isn't just a painful cycle of toil, fatigue, and collapse. Now pleasure gyrates us through those stages.”
“Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.”
“The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.”
“The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.”
“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.”
“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, Im very well endowed.”
“I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.”
“Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?”
“Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents.”
“If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.”
“The problem with our society is that our values arent in the right place. Theres an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public p...”
“Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.”
“When nobody practices what they strongly believe in, that day will be a triumph of prudence.”
“I threw an etiquette party and served nothing but beans and sparkling water. The topic of conversation was excuse me.”
“Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.”
“I dont read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.”
