756 quotes found
“Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people.”
“I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns.”
“Who are you after?The snarky asshole one.Could you be a little more specific.The one who has a staff and throws their toys out of the pram that one.Ooh.Yeah.”
“Yeah no shit, try asking random people about a bird owned by someone you don't know! Javal countered Well still you got it! Javal acknowledged this with a small grin Now what? Javal asked Ingra scr...”
“The house in the story is based on my friend Tori's house in Kinsale, Ireland, which is obviously not actually haunted, and the sound of people upstairs moving wardrobes around when you are downsta...”
“It's hard to sleep when you have thirty two million quids worth of stolen jewellery hidden under the mattress.”
“I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you'...”
“Yes. They are the words that finally turned me into the hermit I have now become. It was quite sudden. I saw them, and I knew what I had to do."The sign read:"Hold stick near center of its length. ...”
“Immortality is the new twenty!”
“Theyre not pro-life. You know what they are? Theyre anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They dont like them. They dont like women. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broo...”
“Don't you ever think that maybe the reason behind why heroes are so dedicated to saving people is because they want to finish them off in the end? I mean, in that case, the villains should be the h...”
“I've never heard of a man's cock being described as a fang before. - Rapahel”
“[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”
“...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say t...”
“There is a simple explanation for why men haven't found women funny. It's because men only ever experience women in relation to men: they never get to see what women are like with one another. Show...”
“Right then, in a nutshell: this one hasn't a single bone of obedient-little-wife material in her heavenly body.''Hasn't she? Then what kind of bone does your expertise detect?'Fermin came closer, a...”
“You cant keep bitch-slapping your creativity, or itll run away and find a new pimp.”
“I ejaculated about ten minutes ago and the stuff was black. So everything is not normal."Silence greeted that happy little announcement. Man, if he had hauled off and sucker-punched V, he would hav...”
“You are gonna get it now sweetheart," he grunted, seizing her nipples and massaging them roughly."Aw, what are you gonna do Max? Blow a load and get all sad about it afterwards?”
“Keep your southern fried bullshit to yourself. And know this, Charlie is the sweetest girl I've ever met and if you hurt her, or infect her with some kind of disease, you will die. Slowly.”
