756 quotes found
“If teams had to name themselves honestly, theyd all be the Pimple-Faced Teenagers.”
“I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.”
“I'm starved." -Juli"How can you be starved? You just ate a huge bowl of popcorn." -Elspeth"Popcorn isn't food, it's popcorn." -Vicki”
“And if that weren't bad enough, the next sound he heard was a loud click.The damned woman had locked him out. She'd taken all the food and locked him out."You'll pay for this!" he yelled at the doo...”
“I prefer noodles when they're raw, they taste just as good, but reward you with a satisfying crunch...”
“In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie.”
“I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. So I guess this works out good.”
“TO EAT IS VERY IMPORTANT, AND VERY PLEASUREABLE THING, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE VERY FRIGHTENING”
“When men were ready to marry, look out. Their evolution busted out all over. They nabbed the closest female hanging out near their caves, anyone who looked like she would clean his woolly mammoth t...”
“When men were ready to marry, look out. Their evolution busted out all over. They nabbed the closest female hanging out near their caves, anyone who looked like she would clean his wooly mammoth tu...”
“He had learned Lesson One: Let French women tell you what they want.”
“Anticipation tingled in my stomach: the kind of tingle that at first you dont know if its a good tingle or a bad tingle just a tingle.”
“Its still all ifs buts and maybes. Maybe, I said. But if what Im saying is correct ”
“Meaning, yes -- I don't really exist except on the page or in the back of your brain. But if you think it's weird a fictional character's telling this story, you ain't seen what happened, yet.”
“She had her own barometer for knowing when a man was getting too close: as soon as he felt comfortable enough to help himself to something in her refrigerator, he was history....Filching leftover w...”
“Girls, we're fiction editors--we know how to plot, and we know how to cover our tracks. We can teach Jerry Key a lesson he'll never forget.”
“Everything about the man spoke of virility--his quick reaction, his calm control now that danger had passed. And she'd never seen a man wield a gun in real life--it was kind of a turn-on to know th...”
“You can have a lot of fun with rhinos”
“Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health.”
“He wanted to break up with me in the cafeteria? Fat chance. I leaned toward him and touched his arm in a girlfriend sort of way. If you planned to stage a public breakup with me, you can forget it....”
