17 quotes found
“...You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on command. Can you believe that? . . . Why do you laugh? . . . Believe it! By will of his ...”
“What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.”
“All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.”
“We made it back to the airport without getting mugged, stoned, shot at, pounced on, bombed, shelled, garroted, gassed, pitched into, caught in a cross fire, sniped at, blockaded, napalmed, or trip-...”
“The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, absolutely fine doctor, but Im terribly lonely without myself.”
“It seems to me that very sad things always contain an element of the comical”
“Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isnt that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.”
“There is a night school where you shall meet great teachers: The sky! When the night falls, the shining stars in the school will teach you how small you are and how comical to own an ego!”
“It's okay to laugh, you know. The earth's not going to split open. You're not going to hell. Believe me. If there's a hell, I'll be there ahead of you, and they'll be too busy with me to even check...”
“I've never been lost, but I was mighty turned around for three days once.”
“If you want to know what's going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off.”
“I find a good cliche very comforting in times of stress." said the Sage.”
“Who in the universe halts when the enemy tells them to?”
“This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.”
“You dare quarrel with me Doerwyne?She wrinkled her nose. "It's not quarreling to express an opinion'""Women don't have opinions.""Then I must be a man, because I have plenty.”
“The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, “absolutely fine doctor, but I’m terribly lonely without myself.”
