86 quotes found
“positivity is the father of reinvention”
“it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong”
“Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job”
“I love shark week, all kids swim for free”
“Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort”
“If positivity is not your mindset, then reset”
“The only way Id ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”
“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”
“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”
“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”
“If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane”
“Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable”
“In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?”
“Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack”
“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door”
“Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."”
“If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?”
“Patience is learning to take a deep breath while youre exhaling”
“If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, youre lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway”
“It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light”
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....”
“An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet”
“The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1”
“Never be paralyzed by fear, just by falling off a cliff”
