“The only way Id ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”

“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”

“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”

“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”

“My love is pizza shaped. Wont you have a slice? Its circular, so theres enough to go around.”

“My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.”

“I murmur: "It's a seat," a little like an exorcism. But the word stays on my lips: it refuses to go and put itself on the thing. It stays what it is, with its red plush, thousands of little red paw...”

“I murmur: "It's a seat," a little like an exorcism. But the word stays on my lips: it refuses to go and put itself on the thing. It stays what it is, with its red plush, thousands of little red paw...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”