“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”

“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”

“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”

“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”

“If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane”

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”

“My love is pizza shaped. Wont you have a slice? Its circular, so theres enough to go around.”

“My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.”

“We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls, gets broken.”

“Who fixes broken people? Is it only other broken people, ones who've already been ruined? And do we need to be fixed? It was the messiness and hurt in our pasts that drove us, and that same hurt co...”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”