“The great thing about the Internet isn't that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is sim...”

“Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.”

“Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.”

“Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.”

“Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.”

“Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.”

“Well, very long ago, on the spot where the Wild Wood waves now, before ever it had planted itself and grown up to what it now is, there was a city - a city of people, you know. Here, where we are s...”

“We have waited long. Learn who to trust. It is heart that knows truth. Don't close eyes and wait for path to choose you. Choose path and follow it.”

“If you look hard and long, you can find us. If you listen hard and long, you can hear any of us, call any of us that you wish.”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me li...”

“I've got about ten things to say to you right now. But at least nine of them would make me sound like a psycho.In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I nearly smiled. Whats the tenth thing? ...”

“A truly happy woman drives some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy”