“The great thing about the Internet isn't that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is sim...”

“Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.”

“Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.”

“Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.”

“Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.”

“There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.”

“The land of easy mathematics where he who works adds up and he who retires subtracts.”

“At the age of 45, most days in Tucson were spent feeling like I was on the summit of Mauna Kea, as I was exhibiting debilitating health symptoms that corresponded to what I saw at very high altitud...”

“The hour is only long thus, if you've waited.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Earlier People used to hate a lieSince now lie has become truth and truth has become a lie.They still hate a lie”

“We have to lie to ourselves to live. Otherwise, we'd go crazy.”

“We wait and think and doubt and hate. How does it make you feel? The overwhelming feeling is rage. We hate ourself for being unable to be other than what we are. Unable to be better. We feel rage. ...”