“CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called "Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.”

“CUSTOMER: I dont know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?”

“CUSTOMER (to her friend): What's this literary criticism section? Is it for books that complain about other books?”

“CUSTOMER:If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?”

“Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'Customer's friend: 'Jesus.”

“CUSTOMER (to their friend): God, the Famous Five titles realy were crap, werent they? Five Go Camping. Five Go Off in a Caravan.... If it was Five Go Down To a Crack House it might be a bit more ex...”

“Choose to deliver amazing service to your customers. You'll stand out because they don't get it anywhere else.”

“I pride myself in being a technology innovator, so our specialty at Veeam is our laser-focused commitment to R&D, but you cannot build solid solutions without knowing what the goals are for your cu...”

“Every small business has to become a publishera publisher of marketing messages and customer resources, and a publisher of stories.”

“These days every morning begins like a joke you think you have heard before, but there is no one telling it whom you can stop. One day it's about a cow who walks into a bar, then about a man with a...”

“Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious”

“UFO is a joke when there ain't mystery in the sky.”

“Did you just mentally pistol whip that guy, with his own gun? Nice, Amber. I would have just killed him.”

“Getting up from the bed, Dominick approaches me at a slow predatory pace. Once again, I cannot move my feet.”

“Goddamn it, do it yourself. Youre five hundred years old and you cant use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot?”