“CUSTOMER: I dont know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?”

“CUSTOMER (to her friend): What's this literary criticism section? Is it for books that complain about other books?”

“CUSTOMER:If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?”

“Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'Customer's friend: 'Jesus.”

“CUSTOMER: Im always on night shift at work.BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why youre buying so many vampire novels?CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared.”

“CUSTOMER (to their friend): God, the Famous Five titles realy were crap, werent they? Five Go Camping. Five Go Off in a Caravan.... If it was Five Go Down To a Crack House it might be a bit more ex...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”