159 quotes found
“All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.”
“Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics dont learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afrai...”
“So, a word to all you Femin-Idi-Amins: Stop liberating moms by trying tomake them join the workforce. Theyre already doing the job that God putthem here to do: Everything.”
“it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.”
“That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.”
“Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married. How is that our fault? Don't drag down my country's s...”
“The Crusaders lead to the Knights Templar; the Knights Templar lead to the Masons; and the Masons lead to the Shriners, a secret society that controls world government, toys with our banking system...”
“According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a family is defined as two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. In other words, the U.S. Census Bureau is run by radic...”
“There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).”
“If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!”
“Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding.”
“... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.”
“On March 11, 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev became leader of the Soviet Union, and within a few weeks the full-scale reformation he attempted to carry out both inside his country and in its cold war relat...”
“That's my parenting style - 'Go watch the TV.' I'm one of 11 children, and my mother's parenting style was, 'There's the TV. Go watch it. Mommy's got 10 other people to take care of.'”
“In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.”
“It's a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this...”
“The bottom line is, when people are crystal clear about the most important priorities of the organization and team they work with and prioritized their work around those top priorities, not only ar...”
“I liked comedy as a kid. When I was a kid, I'd go to sleep to, like, Bill Cosby albums every night. I'd listen to 'Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow... Right!' and 'Wonderfulness,' which are two of...”
“In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.”
“I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.”
