“Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.”

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”

“A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?”

“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”

“So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.”

“I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, a...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“They plot, they plot, sleeping or afoot they never let up.”

“You must become your enemy to truly understand him.”

“The police cannot be considered simply the custodians of the legal order, but must be seen as the guardians of the social order as well. That they defend it wearing blue uniforms rather than white ...”