Quotes by Bill Watterson

“The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse”

“I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.”

“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”

“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”

“Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”

“I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!”

“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”

“Specifically, Id like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since its less wasteful.”

“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin”

“Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.”

“[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don'...”

“Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?”

“But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!”

“Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet”

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

“How come we play war and not peace?""Too few role models.”

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.”

“When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the oppo...”

“The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.”

“CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.”