116 quotes found
Cartoonist · American · 1958
American cartoonist (born 1958)
“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Te...”
“I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.”
“On gray days, when it's snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that you'll just read a good book all day, and he'd allow you to stay home.”
“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.”
“I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like yo...”
“As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. Youve taught me nothing except how to cynically ma...”
“Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having new notebooks and stuff!Calvin:All I've got to say is they're not making me ...”
“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular ent...”
“Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa...”
“Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a refle...”
“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
“There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.”
“I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
“Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate and read comi...”
“You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid.”
“What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?”
“Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cyn...”
“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.”