1,193 quotes found
“I lifted my wand, hoping she would see this as a dramatic move, not a threat. Why once, in my bunker at Charing Cross Station, I stalked thedeadly prey known as Jelly Babies.Neiths eyes widened. Th...”
“A weapon, I told Horus. I need a weapon.I reached into the Duat and pulled out an ostrich feather.Really? I yelled.Horus didnt answer”
“Its frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.”
“If its going to be two against one, make sure you arent the one.”
“As a purely mathematical fact, people who sleep less live more.”
“Accept that some days youre the bug, and some days youre going to be the windshield.”
“There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia.”
“"If you want that kind of thing, call Nick. His advice is shit, but he really likes to give it.”
“Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon foun...”
“And I'll wash your other clothes. Shall I also order you a new set of leathers?""Don't-" Wrath shut his mouth. "Sure. That'd be great. And, ah, could you get me some boxers? Black? XXL?”
“But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land."(Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)”
“Otis barreled towards them empty-handed, before apparently realizing that a) he was empty-handed and b) charging towards a large body of water to fight a son of Poseidon was maybe not a good idea.”
“I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded.But Dec...”
“One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.”
“Okay, boys. Pestilence's grating voice rang out. Kill the human and the mutt, and let's get this Apocalypse started!”
“With a regrettable sigh he shook his head."I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out.""What the hell are you doing, Trevor?" Hankdemanded anxiously. No doubt the manwouldn't be getting laid tonig...”
“In the middle of the night I am awakened by a sound. I sit up abruptly in bed. I hear it again. It's music. Wait, it sounds like the ice cream man, in our house. Is this some kind of twisted nightm...”
“I'm more of a dog person. But I admire cats and their ability to take so much while giving so little.”
“Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist.”
“I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when peopl...”
