“One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.”

“When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.”

“The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.”

“Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.”

“Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.”

“A quote is a story, suspended in a sentence and treasured through time.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“I love to laugh. Specially at myself. Sometimes I spend hours doing it.”

“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a snogging fest.”

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!”