Quotes by Woody Allen

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is t...”

“I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

“I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know h...”

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such s...”

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”

“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”

“Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!”

“To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”

“I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”

“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”