“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

“A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.”

“He sat staring before him, seeing nothing but a long line of Mortimers, inexhaustable and prolific to the end of time.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“You dont need a stage to prove that youre a bad speaker.”

“Don't worry if you've been labeled as weird. Who wants to be classed as normal in an insane world?”

“Guess it's high time we add the 8th vow in marriage promising that we shall spend time with our husband or wife more than with social networking sites!”