“Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.”

“The best fiction is true.”

“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.”

“If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.”

“I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.”

“Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.”

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

“If I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drownedif I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the sea, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and t...”

“I'm an Earth ecstatic, and my creed is simple: All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of improving our behavior toward one another. As basic as that is, for me it's also tonic and ...”

“Taking care of you doesnt mean to award yourself with a new pair of shoes or spending beyond measure on a trip to Tahiti. It actually means to take care of your financial future.”

“I'm financially ugly.”

“Giving tithes alone is not enough for financial prosperity.”

“Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome.”

“Life is a tide; float on it. Go down with it and go up with it, but be detached. Then it is not difficult.”

“It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.”