“The great thing about the Internet isn't that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is sim...”

“Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.”

“Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.”

“Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.”

“Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.”

“Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.”

“Champions never sleep, the eternal spirit keep them alert and awake.”

“You know all of the young gentlemen better than I do, Lady Manston continued. Are there any we should avoid? All of them, George wanted to say. ''What about Ashbournes son?''No. No? his mother ech...”

“The Monster Ball is by nature a protest: A youth church experience to speak out and celebrate against all forms of discrimination + prejudice.”

“Crap.It's all crap.Living is crap.Life has no meaning.None. Nowhere to be found.Crap.Why doesn't anybody realize this?”

“...cursing my heels and debating whether it was faster to stop and take them off--damn ankle straps!--or keep running with the potential neck breakers. Wouldnt that make a charming epitaph? Here li...”

“Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" o...”

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”

“After all, a woman who doesn't love cats is never going to be make a man happy.”

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”