Quotes by Ogden Nash

“If you dont want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you wont have to work.”

“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.”

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”

“Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.”

“Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,She lays eggs for gentlemen.Gentlemen come every dayTo count what my black hen doth lay.If perchance she lays too many,They fine my hen a pretty penny;If perchance s...”

“How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,And it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle.What was it, anyway, that angry thing that fle...”

“Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;She thinks she scolds because he drinks;And nether will admit what's true,That he's a sot and she's a shrew.”

“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”

“Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie,The idea apparently being that just by being ...”

“Very Like a WhaleOne thing that literature would be greatly the better forWould be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and metaphor.Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teuto...”

“Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.”

“Parsley is gharsley.”

“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.”

“To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it;Whenever you're right, shut up."~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)”

“Certainly there are things in life that money cant buy, but its very funny Did you ever try buying them without money.”

“...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.”

“Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.”

“I am tarred and feathered with Time.”

“To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.”

“Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.”