Quotes by Ogden Nash

“Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.”

“Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.”

“The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.”

“The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure.”

“Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.”

“One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.”

“Parsely is gharsley.”

“Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long.”

“In the world of mules there are no rules.”

“There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.”

“Here lies my past Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids I wouldn't have missed it.”

“Purity is obscurity.”

“I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.”

“Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.”

“If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.”

“Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie,The idea apparently being that just by being ...”

“Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.”

“Parsley is gharsley.”

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

“Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.”