1,564 quotes found
“People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.”
“Morning, noon & bloody night,Seven sodding days a week,I slave at filthy WORK, that mightBe done by any book-drunk freak.This goes on until I kick the bucket.FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT”
“Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,She lays eggs for gentlemen.Gentlemen come every dayTo count what my black hen doth lay.If perchance she lays too many,They fine my hen a pretty penny;If perchance s...”
“Do you hate people?I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”
“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so muchthe wheel, New York, wars and so onwhilst all the dolphins had ev...”
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you've felt that way.”
“I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.”
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
“Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones.""You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might b...”
“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
“Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper."Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole.""What?" Piper asked."Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.”
“It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be...”
“Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked...”
“Short cuts make long delays.”
“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it”
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
“Asscrown," I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn't proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it.Noah matched my pace. "Don't you mean 'assclown'?" He lo...”
“Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!”
“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
