Quotes by Howard Tayler

“Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer.Even the people you're paid to shoot at?Well, yeah. ...”

“This document outlines our plan to perpetrate insurance fraud, insider trading, and character assassination....hopefully tripling our paycheck on this job.Okay, see? Those words I understand just f...”

“Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE.I work for you because I want to. I fly your ship for you because I enjoy it. I am compelled to accept orders only by my conscie...”

“Where's your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn”

“Maxim 3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.”

“Maxim 37: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.”

“Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.""Not guilty.""Al...”

“Right now I've got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don't taunt elephants.Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock”

“The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?""Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!""I guess that explains their rich milita...”

“Kevyn, I'm promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons.Munitions Commander? Why me?I don't know. Call it "suspicion of extreme...”

“Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way ...”

“Hi. I'm here to enlist.You can't. You aren't human.You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces." We're a crack company of space mercenaries. We do "hurting...”

“As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me.-Captain Tagon”

“Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

“Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”