756 quotes found
“He said he wouldn’t stay, as he didn’t care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don’t often...”
“here’s why I take comedies seriously: they present and celebrate the world in which we survive our own and others’ mistakes, follies, transgressions, and deep sins. However lightly, dimly, or bleak...”
“Outwardly, I hope, I wear my usual mask of detachment, even irony, for there has never been a situation,however dire, even this one, that did not strike me as containing at least some element of th...”
“Why is it that drama always starts late? Whereas comedy always seems to have started already.”
“It’s like George always says: being in a rock ʼn’ roll band is very sexy, even when you’re only the keyboard player and your idea of the perfect Saturday night actually amounts to a bubble bath, a ...”
“You don’t have to want to be in arelationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.”
“Duct tape can't fix stupid," Bas growled. "Maybe not," Red replied, "but it can hold it down and muffled the screams.”
“Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it’s too crowded.”
“He had a body that begged to be painted…with chocolate.”
“Aye lass,” nodded Gizurr, “you are quite the beauty for sure. I’d certainly offer to buy you a beer or two if I ever met you in a pub and that’s a fact.”Ragni tutted and elbowed Gizurr in the ribs,...”
“Mike’s brain was hardwired directly into his genitals and most higher functions appeared to have switched themselves off. In other words, he was just like most men.”
“Comedy, of course, lives for serious moments.”
“I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”
“What was it with evildoers trying to hire my boyfriend as a mercenary?”
“Was that tragedy? Or was that comedy? Was there really any difference?”
“I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.”
“Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she’d only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen. So I grabs her head and I stuck it through a display of them Muller’s rices ...”
“There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his lunch hour picking his bum, and Judith Glycerine, the reforma...”
“On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property with a glossy beef burger called Tom, who has been painted by a seven year old magist...”
“Your toaster’s a puff.”
