“The only way Id ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”

“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”

“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”

“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”

“My love is pizza shaped. Wont you have a slice? Its circular, so theres enough to go around.”

“My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.”

“Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.”

“Old-fashioned dating still exists. Youre either dating the wrong people or you are the problem.”

“Im not looking for anything, but who knows. Lightning is weird.”

“To eat figs off the tree in the very early morning, when they have been barely touched by the sun, is one of the exquisite pleasures of the Mediterranean.”