“The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldnt afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he...”

“Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy.”

“These days every morning begins like a joke you think you have heard before, but there is no one telling it whom you can stop. One day it's about a cow who walks into a bar, then about a man with a...”

“Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious”

“UFO is a joke when there ain't mystery in the sky.”

“Are we all just Dark Age doctors, swearing by our leeches? We crave a greater science. We want to be proven wrong.”

“I'm watching her talk. Watching her jaw move and collecting her words one by one as they spill from her lips. I don't deserve them. Her warm memories. I'd like to paint them over the bare plaster w...”

“Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.”