“The only way Id ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard”

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”

“Manners without sincerity, is called polite society”

“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”

“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“There was a lull. Sammy was staring across the room at George Opdyke, the three-time Pulitzer Prize winner. I was about to say he was lost in thought, but Sammy was never really lost, and he never ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”