“When a flower rises from the earth, it is overcoming its greatest opponent: fear.”

“Wealth wont make you happy. Power wont make you remarkable. Fame wont make you honorable. Education wont make you wise.”

“Bless the world with your mind, heal the world with your heart, lift the world with your soul; elevate the world with your life.”

“Dont mourn over the past; it has no pity for you. Dont cry over the present; it has no sympathy for you; and dont weep over the future, it has no mercy on you.”

“In thoughts, be wise. In speech, be cautious. In sentiment, be positive. In actions, be prudent.”

“The darkest storms color the brightest rainbows.”

“She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.”

“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.”

“Poppy: What makes you think I'm having dinner with you?Jake: Because you can't sit in your room and eat ice cream and chips two nights in a row. You'll get scurvy. You need vitamin C.”

“Money can't buy love, except on Valentines Day.”

“The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.”

“The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.”

“I love to laugh. Specially at myself. Sometimes I spend hours doing it.”

“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a snogging fest.”

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!”