“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Fear has no brains it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated. ”

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

“You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.”

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.”

“Mr. Lecky had proceeded quickly for several moments before he drew up, shocked. A few more steps and he might have stumbled on his idiot, for the stairs he had been approaching were the front stair...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”