“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

“The beautiful affair of sun, sky and the sea brings a perfect moment of love, peace and joy”

“We were hooked when we woke.We had arms for each other.But I yearned to resumeMy dreams of another.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles aw...”

“I thought women enjoyed affairs. I thought they got sparks of pleasure at the buzz of their phone, thought they ran around with a glow, their world suddenly on fire with new love. I thought they we...”

“If you're single and not committed, then go for it. The world's your oyster. But, if you're happily married and want to remain happily married, then the only oyster should be the one sliding down y...”