“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”