“One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.”

“When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.”

“I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?”

“The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.”

“Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.”

“Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.”

“Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are things people are scared of. Some of them are things that look like things people used to be scared of a long time ago. Sometimes monsters ar...”

“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.”

“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them”

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.”

“I devote my life in service of humanity.”

“You can get what you want. It depends on the strength of your desire.”

“It's not worth it to build castles on the sand if they get destroyed by the waves of reality.”

“Peace does not come from destroying evil, but from building goodness.”

“It is necessary to build a system or a structure which will allow you to form your dream into reality”