31 quotes found
“Oooh...Aunt Chelsea called Jake the D-word!"Rory's voice carries into the kitchen. "Dipshit?""No.""Dumbass?""No.""Douchebag?""What's a douchebag?""Rory!" Chelsea and I yell at exactly the same time.”
“Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just .... wrong. On so many levels.”
“Why do women always do this? Why are they so eager to blame themselves when someone treats them like sh*t? A guy would take a cheese grater to his tongue before admitting he screwed up.”
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
“She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who’s only holding Cinderella back.” "That’s my girl.”
“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”
“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”
“I’m well aware that this—that I—am the first man to ever do this to her. And yes, as a guy, thatfact makes it even better.You know who Neil Armstrong is, don’t you?Now tell me who the second guy wa...”
“You have the maturity of a 14-year-old boy!“ Kennedy hisses."And you have the chest of one.”
“You can’t get a reaction from someone who doesn’t give a shit.”
“Baby, if you let me take you out of here, I’ll give the word pleasure a whole new meaning." - Drew Evans”
