63 quotes found
“If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors.”
“I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.”
“Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Dont bother introducing yourself.”
“Without humor, wed all be what were laughing at. Without arrogance, wed be humiliated to admit we already are.”
“Divorce runs high these days, but Im an exception to the norm. I got divorced when marriage was still popular.”
“Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs each section of a department store has its advantages.”
“We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.”
“The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrologys only credible conspiracy.”
“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking What would the founding fathers do, but I have yet to witness a single sance.”
“Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.”
“Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parents past, theres leftover booze and contraceptives.”
“When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. Im a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations.”
“Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.”
“I get a lot of big ideas, and occasionally I actually come up with one myself.”
“Some people won't have kids, but Im not going to have parents. Im burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.”
“I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.”
“I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine Im heavens landscape painter.”
“Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.”
“If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area.”
“I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded unless I read the book.”
